Top 5 Regrets In Life

I've found this message from Bronnie Ware, an inspiring writer from Australia.
The message is about a very interesting summary of the top 5 regrets that people have when they are dying soon. Very enlightening & it serve as a great reminder to us....

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. 

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.


2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.


3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.


4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.


5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.


http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html

Coffee with Love

This is what we get when things are done with a heart and soul through the mind.
Can you imagine how Starbucks positioned their customers? I can feel as they treat us as good friends, judging from the act of taking the trouble to inform us on the outlet closing or re-location, with a meaningful message. I'm touched!

This is great example when a business successfully invested in People, to Perform and eventually generating Profits! When a company tries to skip the People part and jump straight to Performance and Profits, most of the time, the employee retention will be low. As people don't feel appreciated and the sense of belonging is shallow. Therefore, resignation letters are flying here and there!

Some management implement a policy where "I set the rules and if you don't play by it, take a flight and leave!". Guess what, employees will do accordingly to grant your wish.
How can one rule, conquers all? Imagine one medication to treat all kinds of disease.
People are different and we are an organic human being that are suppose to be emotional, don't we? We are not cows or chicken! We have moments of celebration, moments of achievement and moments of dissapointment as well. At the end of the day, what is so great about money if it doesn't enrich or uplift someone's life?

If we want a harvest of a year, grow wheat.
If we want a harvest of 10 years, grow trees.
If we want a harvest of a lifetime, grow people.

Eventually, People will grow your empire!

An Old Man with a Young Heart

This morning, I had a light breakfast in KL with an elderly man in his early 70s. We were in a typical kopitiam, not those fancy-franchising ambience but those with plastic chairs and dirty, oily table where it was hot and noisy! Once a while, I do miss those kind of kopitiam.

It was drizzling and later on, raining cats & dog for around 20 minutes.
While sitting there & having a sip of the original "kopi" without any caramel, I enjoy listening to the story of how this 70 year old ride on his roller-coaster of life.

He had a hard time in the 80s and went through bankcruptcy. Adding to his pain, his elder brother doesn't want to share the responsibility of taking care of their parents during his hardest time. And he has 6 children! Rather than dwelling on the problem, he sucked it up and explore other business venture while his existing business has rotten with many bad debts. Without much analysis, just based on some common sense, he just did it.
Eventually he managed to moved on and create a "little wealth" for himself and the business grew until he managed to earn around few hundred Ringgit a day. Remember, that was in the 80s. Earning few hundred a day was really an achievement.

Did I mentioned his elder brother was doing great financially? The greed of money can sometimes blindfold a person's consciousness and destroy a person's sense of goodness.

Long story short; a simple man with a strong commitment and perseverance, always win the race of life eventually.

I do hope this man is blessed with happiness and abundance of life (which I think he has) after going through such a tough time. Until today, he is still productively working and keeping his "old" employees who were loyal to him for years and I truly think that he deserve a great life ahead.

Not to mention being a millionaire or a tycoon, but I think his life is pretty enriching and it serve as a great lesson and example for Gen Y & Gen Z to follow.

Sometimes, we don't have to look far for heroes, just those around us might be an unknown hero or hero-in-the-making. Not only the Trump, the Buffett, the Branson are great, but this 70 year old man is a great example too.

Let's Make Our Money Meaningful!

Well, we make money everyday, then we spend it.....then we make some more.....and we spend some more...etc
Sometimes it is good to "give meanings" to the money that we earn or spend!
We've often thought about "The grass is always greener on the other side." Until we take into account of what we do have as compared to what other people don't have.

A simple "Thank You" to WorldVision is simply not enough. They have done a great job, not only providing fishes to those who needed it, but also equipped them with necessary skills to fish as well.
I like the idea of donating business kits to them, in the form of seeds, chicken, cows....etc.
At least, they can make a transition from dependent to independent & finally interdependent.

Few years back, I've adopted some children......
Flipping through those files really makes me feel that at the very least, I'm doing a little favour to these little ones.
Not to mention about Wii Sport, Wii Fit, Transformers toy ...etc, but some of them just wanted to SURVIVE!
Not to mention having a balance meal, they even have problem of getting a simple meal!
Not to mention having great education, they just want to get basic literacy!
Of course with WorldVision, now they have a much better life......

These are the letters & greeting cards which I've received on a regular basis. It is meaningful to look at them from time to time, reminding us on ONE of the purpose of making money.

Of course I want to be RICH but I also want to be RICHLY BLESSING OTHERS.
Sponsoring those kids makes me feel that way......perhaps you should try it too!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm not sure the origin of Valentine's Day and whether Valentine is the founder's name. Who cares?

Some people perceived Valentine's Day as a day created by large corporation mainly for business generation & profit taking.
Some even thought that it is just another day. What is so special about it.....the earth still spins the same way!

To me, why not just merely enjoy it instead of thinking on the negative side of it or having too much analysis on the origination. It is beautiful and lovely to have such a day for couple to rekindle their love, for new couple to strengthen their love and most importantly, for secret-lover to reveal their secret!!

It can be a reason, an excuse or a purpose for us to do something or express our hearts out!

I'm married since 2002 and 2nd of October was the day that my life was coupled with another partner, Anne.

We used to enjoyed, argued, teased and supported each other and fortunately, until today!
I think these are the reason that we sustained our marriage and relationship.
Well, a calm sea will not make a skillful sailor! A calm relationship will not make a steady couple either.

Remember those days when we first met our secret lover, ideal guy or gal where our hearts pumping at 50kHz and our blood travels at 180km / hr!

We can't sleep, eat, study and think well whenever "he" or "she" is not around. We miss that person every minute, every hour and every day!

We used to wear an "angelic" or a "gentlemanic" mask all the time, speaking and behaving gently, well-mannered and acting as a YES man or woman! Sometimes to the extend of gently "lying" to our partner saying that:
..."YES, it is convenient, I'll fetch you..."
(You wanted to say: "Why not take a bus, then LRT, then take a taxi lah!")

..."YES, what a beautiful dress..."
(You wanted to say: "Don't waste money lah!")

..."YES honey, you are still slim..."
(You wanted to say: "Fatty bom-bom, curi jagung! Eh, sign up Marie France lah")

..."YES dear, it is delicious..."
(You wanted to say: "Better don't cook, next time order pizza ok!")

Well, it was those "Gentle-Lies" and Mask that actually keep a relationship interesting.
Time will dilute those interesting moments. Opening our mask and telling unnecessary "truth" will hurt a relationship sometimes. You might not agree but it is true.

Imagine on the 4 examples statement above, to be replaced by the bracketed statement!
You are just looking for trouble!
Well, HONESTY is a must in a relationship, but it must be coupled with RESPECT.
Tell the truth, but find the right way and the right time to communicate.
It will save you from unnecessary war!

As the saying goes, Make Love, not War!

Happy Valentine's Day.

Our Parents... An Asset or Liability?

With all the MBA, KPI and goal settings around, some people might treat their parents as liability. Or an asset if they are rich!
But they are neither an asset nor liability, they are HUMAN BEING!

Last Saturday, I've watched "Great Day", a malaysian-made movie (I prefer "Woo-Hoo" though...and I definitely miss Ah Beng's voice!).

I did laughed & cried, though I am a man! Man have tears too okay! Overall, I did enjoy the movie.
The only setback of that movie was the transition or the flow.
It was badly done. While there are scenes where people cried (...me too!) momentarily and suddenly it hops to another scene.
Anyway, it is easier said than done. I do salute and give respect to the director. But I do like how the camera framing certain scenes from certain perspective. It was really good angles! Plus the 2 "pakcik" who acts naturally and hilariously.

Man...nowadays, don't "pray-play" with "uncles", they can act one u know!

Well, that movie triggers me to reminisce back on my grandfather during the 80s. He used to fly kites with me when I was really young. I still remember I used to dragged him back when it started to rain as I was running and he was walking with a "tongkat", without the "ali" of course....hahahah! 

Then I remember on how my father loved to bring us for peanut cream & yam cake on the roadside while driving a dark green toyota with the plate number AK 2223.
And every friday, we'll go for swimming. Eventhough until now, I still don't know how to float!
Almost every Saturday, we'll dine out.
For every Tuesday night, I'll eat what my father had bought, which is the "triangular-shaped bun with margerine & sugar" while watching Blue Thunder!
And at times, my parents would rent a nintendo set for us for a week and I am a Mario Bros specialist! I did finished level 8 ok!
The most exciting time was when my father brought back whole lots of durian with his 60cc honda cub! We'll ate durian beside the "longkang" in our house and we'll wacked the whole bag!

During my primary school days, I used to bring 60 cents to school. My mother expected me to have a typical lunch consists of soup noodles but I bought "keropok" and "Animal Survival" stickers instead! When my mother found that out, I was asked to kneel down to "Tei Chee Koong-Koong" (aiyah, don't know how to translate, I guess "The-Floor-Deity") and promised the deity not to cheat anymore!
You know what, I've broke that promise!

Well, we are not super rich, but I would say I'm quite happy & lucky in a way coz my parents are still around.

My father was a vegetable wholesaler and my mother was a seamstress. During the 80s, there was a crisis and my father's business was suffering. My mother kept supporting him emotionally and she took care of me & my 2 brothers pretty well I would say. We ate Maggi mee sometimes, but some good stuff as well. Especially my mother's home-made mini pork chop!

With all the ETP, GTP, NKRA ....etc to build the nation into a high income nation, please do not forget on how our parents bring the food on the table, raise us up, gave us education, shelter and love.

Well, "Great Day" is a movie reminding us of how we ignore our parents at times, as we move towards the stream of income-building & cultural modernisation! I wonder if Chinese New Year no longer serve the purpose of bringing family members together in future as the future generations have less & less childrens.

Back in the 80s, our CNY gathering consists of around 20 - 30 family members.
Nowadays, perhaps around 10 members including spouse and children.
Further down the road, perhaps around 5-6 members. Maybe some children who study abroad prefer video-conferencing with their parents instead of coming back for a reunion dinner! They might order pizza, delivers to their home and have reunion of their own!

Whatever it is, please go back for a reunion dinner on the CNY's eve and remember, our parents doesn't have much "years" to see us. Appreciate every moments of it.

Types of Teacher

When I was in primary school, I can recalled a daily routine of greeting our teacher,
"Se....laaa....mat Paaa....gi Cikgu!"
Upon 30 minutes of teaching, we'll happily said,
"Terrrr....rima Kaaaa...sih Cikgu!"

Teacher plays an important role in moulding the student's mind. Not just equipping them with skills but programming their mindset to believe who they are. At times, who they believe who they are, are not who they are suppose to be.
Therefore, the journey of our potential is an on-going question.
It depends on how we look at ourself and how other people influenced us.

I came across a few types of Teacher; it can be our Boss, our Manager, our Parents, our Siblings, our Colleagues....etc

An Average Teacher tells,
A Good Teacher shows,
A Great Teacher demonstrates,
A Superb Teacher inspired......Which one are you?

An Average Teacher likes to use the word "YOU". "You do this", "You do that", "You are not suppose to do this & that", it is "You, You & always You".

A Good Teacher says "I" or "Let me...". "I can show you that", "Let me guide you on that", etc...
A Great Teacher leads through "Let's do it!"

A Superb Teacher says, "YOU CAN DO IT, I BELIEVE IN YOU!"

Nothing beats the belief that others have for us. It is the fuel that burn us to move forward innovatively & with commitment. Words are powerful; it can MAKE us or BREAK us.

Becareful on using our Tongues. We can curse someone or bless someone with it.
Perhaps we can read the book entitled "How to Use Our Tongue for DUMMIES!"
Does this book exist? I don't think so.
Perhaps YOU ARE THE WRITER!

Doctors; A Blessing or A Curse

Dear Doctors or Future Doctors...

I'm writing this with all my respect to Doctors and sincerely wanting to thank all of them for the great work that they have done!

Just to share some observations and thoughts....

I've had friends in which their family members have been wrongly treated by doctors in which one of them past away and some of them never got cured but got worst.

At times, I've heard comments from relatives & friends mentioning unnecessary treatments & operations done by doctors ended up making things worst. Of course I've heard on cases where I should applause & salute them as well.

In fact, there's always a controversial opinion on whether doctors should charge for patients who can't afford expensive treatments or operations. We always think doctors are life-savers and should not make money or make "that" much money after all.

But they are human beings that need money to survive as well. They have invested hefty education fees and countless resources of time and energy to become a Doctor. It is about hardwork and dedication. They can't be charging it for FREE or at a mediocre fees where they can't even cover their own education investments for the past years.

Therefore, it is the own conscious of doctors to make a judgement. Perhaps a combination of Work & Charity.

For those who are merely becoming a doctor for the sake of becoming one or solely on making money should let go of this profession and do something else. As hospital is a combination of work in BUSINESS and LIFE-SAVINGS activities, it is important for doctors to refresh and remind daily on their purpose of existence. Not simply prescribing unnecessary medicines or conduct unnecessary operations out of the agenda of profit. Profits should be made out of Ethics and not Greed!

Perhaps some of the improvements that I can think of:

1. Doctors should be more of an Uplifter and spreading Hopes despite chronic situation faced by the patients. Besides cancer, WORDS can also kill somebody mentally before dying physically!
2. Doctors can also equipped with natural therapeutic knowledge instead of medicines or operations alone. The goal is to "Cure" patients or not to "Lure" patients! Moreover, almost all medicines are with side effect where natural diet or food has no side effect. Why not go for natural healing!
3. Perhaps medical bills can be adjusted not to reach a sky-rocket level but more of a slightly-above-average kind of profit? Or even paying by installment basis (not sure they have it now)?
4. Every 3 months, perhaps there are seminars or conferences to help doctors to gain back the Purpose and Drive of who they are or who they can be.
5. Perhaps some of the doctors should practise healthy lifestyle! Unfortunately, I've saw doctors who smoke out side the clinic and some of them are pretty obese! Yeah, talking about high blood cholesterol & high blood pressure....

As mentioned, being a doctor is not easy.
For those that have contributed to the society & mankind, I would wholeheartedly thank them.
For those who mistakenly treated patients, perhaps you should reflect a little on your passion & real driver in life!
For those who are going to be doctors, congratulations and thank you in advance for joining such a noble career. Put your HEART and MIND into it, you'll be great!