4 Shapes of Life

Previously, I've written "You From Jupiter, I From Neptune" categorizing people's thinking pattern and of course the whole idea is for us to embrace and 'click' with each other instead of magnifying our differences. This message is to further elaborate another angle of viewing people's style and personalities.

Referring to the diagram;

1. Fluidic Externally, Solid Internally - It represent a person's friendliness externally and live by the principles internally. This is of course the best model we ought to have. In terms of communication, it is being handled tactfully and decisions are made based on self-belief and values.
2. Fluidic Externally, Fluidic Internally - This person is a bit of a 'Yes' man on the outside and inside. Extremely friendly and extremely fickle-minded as well.
3. Solid Externally, Solid Internally - Obviously, this person lives an edgy-life! He or She lives by the principles internally but having a hard time communicating and creating long-lasting relationship as they have a hard time blending with others with a different belief systems.
4. Solid Externally, Fluidic Internally - The is the worst of the worst where this person has no solid principles to live by and yet drawing a line between himself or herself with the external world. Eventually, they will be 'quarantined' by others as weirdos!

The 1st shape reminds me of the ancient gold coins used by the Chinese back in the old days. Perhaps at that time, Chinese are mostly live by principles and communicate tactfully. I am not sure, just a plain guess. I hope that blood still flows in the modern Chinese today.

I hope you are not falling into the 4th category!

The whole idea is to be aware of who we are and sharpen our so called 'rounded' principles and soften our 'edgy' way of communicating.

Weakness = Strength

Last year, I've written "You From Jupiter, I From Neptune!", about different people with different personalities or thinking styles. Basically people are either a Task-Oriented, People-Oriented, Introvert or Extrovert person. I've found out in different circumstances, a person's Weakness can be the Strength and vice-versa.

Case 1: Be Positive or Negative? We might stay away from negative people but it is those people that will question the practicality and viability of a venture. That is why the term "Cautiously Positive" or "Realistically Positive" are a balance way to move forward, with caution.

Case 2: An Extrovert must be better than an Introvert? An Introvert, who is always being seen as having a non-active or passive personality? The cold, Yin person! Boring to meet them huh...
They might be "allergy" to social gatherings or public speakings but they are really good in processing data and really comes in handy when it comes to planning and organizing. And most of the times, an Introvert will only say the right thing at the right moment because they process thoughts before speaking it out.

Case 3: What about being Open-Minded or Narrow-Minded?
If we are open-minded, some might see us as a non-principled person. Because we are so OPEN and not really focus in life. But open-mindedness can be a source to prevent argument and to adapt to alternative solutions during a crisis.
On the other side, if we are narrow-minded, some may think we are too STIFF and not adaptable to the changes around situations. As Charles Darwin quoted, "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change". But narrow-minded people might get things done as they are focus and doesn't deviate.
Perhaps in a marriage, we should be NARROW-MINDED and focus in one relationship.
But in a business, we should be OPEN-MINDED and be flexible to change.

Case 4: Is Perfection a must? We thought having a perfect command of English will be highly perceived as gentleman! Not really. I've watched a durian-seller, who is a millionaire, speaking broken English that can stir up a crowd and motivate them as opposed to another professional & eloquent speaker who speaks perfectly great, but extremely boring and I felt sleepy listening to him......

So, what's the conclusion?

Between Flexibility and Focus, which one is useful?
Between Negative Thinking and Positive Thinking, which one is better?
Between a Sociable and a Bookworm person, which one do you prefer?

I would say all of it are beneficial, if it is used in the right place.

Flexibility should be practised in business while Focus can be very useful when we want to lose weight!
Negative Thinking and suspicion can be used to uncover crime activities while Positive Thinking can be very uplifting and perhaps, a trait of a cheerleader!
Sociability might be able to improve contacts and networks while Introvert can be a great listener for people who needs a shoulder to cry on!

Therefore, I think a person doesn't really has Strengths or Weaknesses. It really depends on where and how someone use it for betterment or for worst. If having the Right People doing the Wrong Thing or the Wrong People doing the Right Thing, it will be the worst of it. Unless it is the Right People doing the Right Thing, it would be a perfect match!

Remember, before criticising others and magnifying people's weaknesses using the wrong lens, we may want to review "where" is the weaknesses being seen.

I should remind myself as well!!

Choose to be the Right Plant

Human definitely have similarities with plants!

Except the fact that both are living organism of course.

There are 3 kinds of plants that possibly match the human categories;

Parasitic Plant / Person - Definition: An animal or plant that lives in or on another (the host) from which it obtains nourishment. The host does not benefit from the association and is often harmed by it.
You and I know there are people who just love to take advantage all the time. They loved to win no matter what. The best is a Win-Lose situation for them. Try to prevent association of such people. I know of a particular person who just loved to take advantage of other people's honesty and was creating lies after lies after lies to protect himself while jeopardizing other's values & beliefs.

Epiphytic Plant / Person - Definition: A plant that grows on another plant and depends on it for support but not food.
Some people are really good at leveraging opportunities and circumstances. They may not fully take advantage of us in a one-way street but wise enough to use situations to springboard themself. I have a friend who is younger than me that is of this kind. He is a street-wise, sociable and adaptable person. From a messy life full of debts, he managed to turned it around and now living quite comfortably. We should learn the opportunistic part of that person!

Symbiotic Plant / Person - Definition: A close and usually obligatory association of two organisms of different species that live together, often to their mutual benefit.
The most beneficial person to be around is those who strive for a Win-Win relationship. It consists of Giving & Sacrificing and they never make any promises that they couldn't fulfill in the first place. Recently, I've met a young man in his late 30s, helping me genuinely without any upfront favours. In return, I initiatively return his goodwill. Guess what, I'll remember him for life!
I think our altitude of life very much depends on how many Symbiotic Friends that we have.

Therefore, DO UNTO OTHERS OF WHAT WE WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO US.
It is a Grandmother's Principle, but it still works!!

You from Jupiter, I from Neptune!

Every human being is different.
Different in thinking, behavior, personalities, taste & style. Depending on 2 factors;

Part of it is Natured and the other part is Nurtured.

If we blend it together, we'll have a Group.
Fuel it with Vision & Culture, the Group will become a Team.

A healthy and perfect team would consists of a DRIVER, a COMMUNICATOR, a PLANNER & an ANALYST.

A DRIVER sees the macro view as a whole. Risk is the Driver's breakfast! The word "No" and "Can't" will stir up a "tsunami..cal" reaction from the Driver coz they are butt-kicker!

We need Drivers to say GO, GO, GO....LET'S DO IT, LET'S GET IT DONE, LET'S MOVE!
Basically they are result & tasks-oriented, outspoken and sometimes doesn't really look into the consequences.
But becareful if it is practised to the extreme resulting in ignorance on people's needs & feelings. No doubt we need Driver to steer the ship forward. Try to calm down with Lavender's tea from time to time!

A COMMUNICATOR inspires and sometimes able to erupt a volcanic excitement among team members and influencing the Red light to turn Green!

They are happy-go-lucky and like a sense of spotlight shining on them at times.
They are relationship-builder, influencer and innovator. They are best fitted in Marketing, Advertising & PR department. They can be great leader because inspiring people is always better than just merely managing people.
Forgive & Forget are their mottos! Passion is in their DNA. Enthusiasm stick in their hemoglobin!
They are the Links, Lubricants and Bridges of an organisation. Without them, it is BOOOOOORRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!

While the communicator is always on the frontstage, the PLANNER is always working on the backstage ensuring the process, procedures and alignment are in place. If "Ah Lian" wants to sing and open a concert, she definitely needs "Ah Beng" as organiser! "Ah Lian" can't be singing and organising at the same time and same goes with "Ah Beng", period!

Planners are able to see the pros & cons of each projects and normally they have more "white hair" than anybody else because they think a lot!
It might slow down the whole process but it helps to minimize blockages or potholes that other department needs to fill through along the way.
Planner is not an outspoken person and at times, you'll misunderstand that they have no opinion!
They are peacemaker and dislike arguments or confrontations. They rather sacrifice themself than to provoke someone.
If you have problems and like someone to listen, a shoulder to cry on and a tissue for free, call them!
Loyalty & Friendship are what they cherish in life.

We have the DRIVER that kicks-butt, the COMMUNICATOR to innovates, the PLANNER to oversees from A --> Z, finally we have the ANALYST which has a biiiiiggggg left brain working on details and information.

While the Communicator has a problem figuring out what's the real deal with Bank A's offer, the Analyst can summarise Bank A, B, C & D's offer and pick the best deal!
They are meticulous, logical and analytical.
"Disney..istic" imagination doesn't appeal to them. "Matrix" figures attract them like bees & honey.
But extreme analysis leads to paralysis sometimes. Therefore, most entrepreneurs are not analyst. They survey a little and the rest is about guts and instincts!
No doubt analysts are good in accounting, operation and engineering where precision is needed as much as making a Swiss watch working for a hundred years! Therefore, they are great in a way.

Well, in summary....

If 4 person have lunch together in a fine-dining restaurant; be it the DRIVER, the PLANNER, the COMMUNICATOR and the ANALYST, this is what you'll find out:

DRIVER will say, "Hey, this lunch is on me. Don't worry, just order. We are going to hit 1 million sales!"

COMMUNICATOR will say, "Why not call upon Jane, Michael, Wong, Suzy ....etc, eventually inviting a "lorry" of people joining. As communicator likes gathering and they are people oriented. They like Party!

PLANNER will say, "Hold it Communicator, how much budget do we have? Why not have this big lunch after we hit the 1 million sales? What if we've had this lunch but failed to meet this target?"

ANALYST will say "1 million sales....hmmm, divide it by 4 salesperson, RM250,000 / person. Divide it further by 4 weeks, RM62,500 / week. RM12,500 / day. On average we have around RM10,000 - RM11,000 / day, therefore, why not we eat chicken rice first!

There's no right or wrong in this personality quadrants but more of understanding our own strengths & weaknesses and how to blend with each other to a pre-determined direction.

Now you can understand your teammates better, your spouse better, your friends better, even your family members better (we tend to think moms like to nag, nag and nag...now u know why!).

Don't pre-label yourself as a fix DRIVER or COMMUNICATOR or PLANNER or ANALYST as we can intersect each behavior according to different situations.

As long as we keep improving and learning how to adapt with each other, we'll spell PROGRESS the right way.
Or else STAGNATION & FRUSTRATION fills the gap!