Catching Up

Suddenly, thought of catching up with a friend in Pavilion. It was quite some time since I've last met him. I like what Tony Hsieh from Zappos talked about; get to know new friends and catch up with them without any specific reasons or motives.

We had a long chat.

What I've understand and felt from the few hours of chatting are:

• Friends are valuable especially those who are kind, generous and simple. They don't manipulate you, take advantage of you or look for you only when they need help. In fact, they give instead of take.
• Simple chat could be therapeutic!! Sometimes we can't help it but being brainwashed by the corporate environment that every one that we meet, must have an objective and every minute that we spent must be productive. I break this rule!
• We listened to each other's updates, situations, problems and ideas. Reciprocal friendship is very much enjoyable than one-way street.
• I felt the presence of what I've done or written and I felt a tiny wave was being stirred again for what I've thought and done before. A good session for re-visitation of self.
• My favorite part.....I've drank 2 cups of nice coffee!!!

Cherish friends, enjoy the "now", learn and observe, most importantly....feel it.

You know what....after Pavilion, I was catching up with another 2 friends in Kota Damansara.

Again, a casual catching up session and I truly appreciate our connections.

Sometimes a catch-up session enable us to stretch our mindset, see things differently, got enriched and exchange thoughts.

Guys, thank you for the friendship and thank you for the "Catching Up".

Why don't you try it?

Light Up Another Candle

In the past weekend, I was in Melaka hanging out with an old friend of mine, enjoying the much sought after food in Jonker Street. Due to our limited space in our stomach, we can only put in Durian Cendol, PaiTee & Asam Laksa. Not to mention that I unresistably packed lots of Nyonya kuih back to KL!!

Well, the highlight was not just in the food but I & my friend had an enriching moment of sharing & exchanging some thoughts. I respect him for his guts to get out of the rut system to help a friend to manage a business. It takes a lot of energy, motivation & initiatives to keep going. I was sharing my thoughts on the aspect of marketing and business development. Just some nuggets here & there, hopefully to uplift and light up another person's candle during his "dark" hours. I just log in to Facebook today only to realise that it did help a bit.

Sometimes our presence can be a little blessing for someone who needs it & the greatest thing is that we unknowingly touch someone without purpose. On the other hand, it provides us with a channel to be useful, valuable & enriching. Or else, what are friends for after all? I think it will be great if we give some, take some & share some. That is what keep a friendship going.

Have you help someone lately?
Have you uplift someone lately?
Have you change someone lately?
Have you bless someone lately?

Perhaps you should try it.

Top 5 Regrets In Life

I've found this message from Bronnie Ware, an inspiring writer from Australia.
The message is about a very interesting summary of the top 5 regrets that people have when they are dying soon. Very enlightening & it serve as a great reminder to us....

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. 

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.


2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.


3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.


4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.


5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.


http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html

Friendship

Awhile ago, a colleague of mine gave me a free coupon to redeem a frappucino in Starbucks. 2 hours later, I've redeemed it!! Ordered a Java Chip with a simple donut ...... here I am, feel like writing a message on friendship.

Eventhough it is a small token but I think it really made a pleasurable and relaxing evening for me. Especially after a hectic day running around, we just need some private moments and enjoy every bit of it. Sometimes we don't need expensive stuff, just something useful will turn our evening around.

Besides family, spouse or lovers, we need friends to be around us. Coz no man is an island.....
At times, they could lend a listening ear or even give some valuable insights that our stressful mind couldn't figure out. Sincere and enriching friendships are valuable. They may come in handy especially when we need someone to chit-chat, share our joy or lift off some of our burden.

They are friends that can hurt us. And some will help us. Of course there are some who make no difference in our lives. The quality of friendship that we spend time building on, will determine our altitude in life. If we spend most of our lives with someone who can help and uplift us, I'm sure we  live a more fulfilled life.

I just spoke to another 2 business friends this afternoon and we had a fruitful chat where I learn the word of commitment and focus from them. To me, both of them are successful as they love to help and add values to people's lives. Nothing is more fulfilling than to enrich someone to reach a level that they never thought of reaching.

Well, when you have time, what are you waiting for....just call a friend and chit-chat over a cup of coffee!!

Powerful Story is more influential than Logical Analysis

Recently, I've met 3 new friends through another friend. What a blessing to know all of em'.

One man in particular, in his 50's, doesn't has a super high education but went through The School of Hard-Knocks! Due to some crisis, he dropped from the status of million-aire to thousand-aire and eventually zero-aire!

He doesn't give up. He learn, explore & kept discovering different strategies to achieve his goal.
Then he bounced back from nothing to SOMETHING. And he taught his children the same principle.
Today, he is living a comfortable life and yet developed the necessary momentum to continue forward.

He thinks like a man of action and acts like a man of thoughts.
After knowing years & years of complications, he knew how to detangled it into few simple principles and he lived & prospered from it.

To summarise what I've observed,
1) We've got to have mentor or mentors in life.
2) Willing to learn & apply.
3) Renew our mind & change strategies till we've got it.
4) Then use the strategies continuingly to gain an empire of wealth!!
5) Share the knowledge & empower others to gain self-satisfaction.

What a blessed meeting....

Plan Ahead but Enjoy the "NOW"

Got to know a friend that really appreciate life & not planning in details of how her life is going to be.
She knows the life direction but not really hoarding after money & wealth. She can work really hard and play really hard too.
She told me "What's the point of planning so detail & suddenly the next day, we die!"

In the beginning, I just listened & not really agreeing but later as I thought about it, it has some truth in it.
Not that we don't plan our life but not to forget to enjoy "NOW" & appreciate "NOW". The worst day in our life is regretting what we didn't do, who we didn't appreciate & love and places that we didn't go.
I think the worst of the worst is not eating the FOOD that we wana eat!!

Okay, let's move forward, smell the roses, move forward & smell more roses!
We have to keep on keeping on.

Let us enjoy, talk to people, call-up somebody that we haven't been contacting & make new friends.
Continue our Malaysian culture, Let's go Yam-Cha!

A Unique School

2 days ago, I went to a property forum entitled Rethinking Property, organised by BFM radio station. There were 3 prominent speakers.

It was an eye-and-mind-opener! One of the speaker that striked me the most was John Hardy, the founder of Green School in Bali, Indonesia.

I do not know there is such school that existed.
My first impression was .... yeah, another school teaching about green stuff, recycling waste, saving energy, blah blah blah...etc.
It is much more than that. Of course listening to the founder himself talks about his vision of creating "Green Leaders" in the future who cares about what happens to the world, put my grasshopper mindset in the backburner!

John Hardy & his wife Cynthia sold off their jewellery business to set this green school up.
The whole school was made of bamboo! No air-conditioning, but natural flow of air and no toxic building material but "organic" material. What a building!

The students can learn basic skills such as reading, writing and I like the fact that they focus more on the practical side instead of boring-standard-Teach-N-Go-curriculum like most school did. They even learn art & music and most importantly, interaction skills.

All of us are Rice-Consumers but the students learn to be a Rice-Producer!
They plant, grow & harvest their own paddy & vegetables.
There's no computer software of any kind that can do a better job in teaching children about the Law of Sowing & Reaping than planting with their own labor, knowing that "If they don't work, they don't eat" principle still exist in 21st century!

Moreover, they get to interact with students from all over the world. They learn, adapt, communicate & build projects together. It reminds me of the word GLOCALIZATION instead of GLOBALISATION.
What a great example of a local village with global society in it.

In my opinion, the skills & the talent that the students potentially build up with will enable them to be more holistically balance in the aspect of mental & emotional strength.
I can't imagine our future generations are still following the status quo of going to a typical school and scoring all the As that their parents dreamt of and expect them to have the adaptability and competitiveness in the global marketplace!
It is not the sole issue of competitiveness but also the morality & respect that we need to nurture the future leaders.

Well, be sure to check the website and find out more at http://www.greenschool.org.
Thumbs up and a big salute to John Hardy, Cynthia and the team that run that place.

You from Jupiter, I from Neptune!

Every human being is different.
Different in thinking, behavior, personalities, taste & style. Depending on 2 factors;

Part of it is Natured and the other part is Nurtured.

If we blend it together, we'll have a Group.
Fuel it with Vision & Culture, the Group will become a Team.

A healthy and perfect team would consists of a DRIVER, a COMMUNICATOR, a PLANNER & an ANALYST.

A DRIVER sees the macro view as a whole. Risk is the Driver's breakfast! The word "No" and "Can't" will stir up a "tsunami..cal" reaction from the Driver coz they are butt-kicker!

We need Drivers to say GO, GO, GO....LET'S DO IT, LET'S GET IT DONE, LET'S MOVE!
Basically they are result & tasks-oriented, outspoken and sometimes doesn't really look into the consequences.
But becareful if it is practised to the extreme resulting in ignorance on people's needs & feelings. No doubt we need Driver to steer the ship forward. Try to calm down with Lavender's tea from time to time!

A COMMUNICATOR inspires and sometimes able to erupt a volcanic excitement among team members and influencing the Red light to turn Green!

They are happy-go-lucky and like a sense of spotlight shining on them at times.
They are relationship-builder, influencer and innovator. They are best fitted in Marketing, Advertising & PR department. They can be great leader because inspiring people is always better than just merely managing people.
Forgive & Forget are their mottos! Passion is in their DNA. Enthusiasm stick in their hemoglobin!
They are the Links, Lubricants and Bridges of an organisation. Without them, it is BOOOOOORRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!

While the communicator is always on the frontstage, the PLANNER is always working on the backstage ensuring the process, procedures and alignment are in place. If "Ah Lian" wants to sing and open a concert, she definitely needs "Ah Beng" as organiser! "Ah Lian" can't be singing and organising at the same time and same goes with "Ah Beng", period!

Planners are able to see the pros & cons of each projects and normally they have more "white hair" than anybody else because they think a lot!
It might slow down the whole process but it helps to minimize blockages or potholes that other department needs to fill through along the way.
Planner is not an outspoken person and at times, you'll misunderstand that they have no opinion!
They are peacemaker and dislike arguments or confrontations. They rather sacrifice themself than to provoke someone.
If you have problems and like someone to listen, a shoulder to cry on and a tissue for free, call them!
Loyalty & Friendship are what they cherish in life.

We have the DRIVER that kicks-butt, the COMMUNICATOR to innovates, the PLANNER to oversees from A --> Z, finally we have the ANALYST which has a biiiiiggggg left brain working on details and information.

While the Communicator has a problem figuring out what's the real deal with Bank A's offer, the Analyst can summarise Bank A, B, C & D's offer and pick the best deal!
They are meticulous, logical and analytical.
"Disney..istic" imagination doesn't appeal to them. "Matrix" figures attract them like bees & honey.
But extreme analysis leads to paralysis sometimes. Therefore, most entrepreneurs are not analyst. They survey a little and the rest is about guts and instincts!
No doubt analysts are good in accounting, operation and engineering where precision is needed as much as making a Swiss watch working for a hundred years! Therefore, they are great in a way.

Well, in summary....

If 4 person have lunch together in a fine-dining restaurant; be it the DRIVER, the PLANNER, the COMMUNICATOR and the ANALYST, this is what you'll find out:

DRIVER will say, "Hey, this lunch is on me. Don't worry, just order. We are going to hit 1 million sales!"

COMMUNICATOR will say, "Why not call upon Jane, Michael, Wong, Suzy ....etc, eventually inviting a "lorry" of people joining. As communicator likes gathering and they are people oriented. They like Party!

PLANNER will say, "Hold it Communicator, how much budget do we have? Why not have this big lunch after we hit the 1 million sales? What if we've had this lunch but failed to meet this target?"

ANALYST will say "1 million sales....hmmm, divide it by 4 salesperson, RM250,000 / person. Divide it further by 4 weeks, RM62,500 / week. RM12,500 / day. On average we have around RM10,000 - RM11,000 / day, therefore, why not we eat chicken rice first!

There's no right or wrong in this personality quadrants but more of understanding our own strengths & weaknesses and how to blend with each other to a pre-determined direction.

Now you can understand your teammates better, your spouse better, your friends better, even your family members better (we tend to think moms like to nag, nag and nag...now u know why!).

Don't pre-label yourself as a fix DRIVER or COMMUNICATOR or PLANNER or ANALYST as we can intersect each behavior according to different situations.

As long as we keep improving and learning how to adapt with each other, we'll spell PROGRESS the right way.
Or else STAGNATION & FRUSTRATION fills the gap!

Facebook vs. Facetime

It's amazing for a 26 year old becoming a billionaire!
Yes, I'm referring to Mark Zuckerberg, creator of Facebook.

Becoming a billionaire is one thing but changing the world is a big thing!

No doubt he is changing how the world interacts, communicates and operates in terms of bringing the whole world to a few steps closer.

As I can recalled, it all started with IRC (Do the Gen-Y knows that?). It was really hot back then.
Then we have the MSN messenger, ICQ, Skype, Friendster....etc.

All of these were created for the concept of bringing the whole world closer.

At times, I were thinking that all of these applications were so successful in bringing the whole world closer but failed to bring the neighbourhood closer....even for an inch more! Sometimes in the context of family as well.
It is like, "The world is so far and yet so close. The world is so close and yet so far!"
It means a person might be closer to a new friend developed through facebook in another country and yet not that close with their neigbors or family members.

Facebook is pretty powerful in a way and also pretty crippling in another. Of course everything created must have its pros & cons. It depends on how we leverage it.
To me, Internet communication is a bit "cold" where phone or video communication is "warmer". Of course nothing beats face-to-face communication, which is Facetime!
But becareful not to dwell & got obsessed with internet communication until we imprison ourself in the Virtual-Reality than to engage the Reality itself.

The Virtual-Reality is a great place to "hide". We can hide our weaknesses, our bad behaviors, our bad attitudes or even bad looks! While the Reality (or the Facetime) portrays the real "who" in us as we communicate our Body Language, Tonality and Facial Expression in which that is the main communication touch-points!

Thumbs up for those "mamak", "kopitiam" and cafe for providing a Reality place for Facetime!

I can't imagine what if in 10 years time, Oldtown set up a ...
"Virtual-Kopitiam" where members order through a ...
"Virtual-Myanmar-Worker", then drink ...
"Virtual-White-Coffee", with ...
"Virtual-Kaya-Toast", engaging in ...
"Virtual-Get-Together" & "Virtual-Gossips"!!

Even that is still very far from the TRON's era, but I think at that time, human-touch would be pointless and if you check the body temperature of a human being, it is far below 37°C because we are all Cold-Blooded!!

In summary, do engage in Facebook, Twitter or whatsoever to keep up with the latest technology but don't forget the conventional Facetime with Friends & Family!

Remember to celebrate the HAPPY upcoming NEW YEAR in the Reality zone!