Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Catching Up


Suddenly, thought of catching up with a friend in Pavilion. It was quite some time since I've last met him. I like what Tony Hsieh from Zappos talked about; get to know new friends and catch up with them without any specific reasons or motives.

We had a long chat.

What I've understand and felt from the few hours of chatting are:

  • Friends are valuable especially those who are kind, generous and simple. They don't manipulate you, take advantage of you or look for you only when they need help. In fact, they give instead of take.
  • Simple chat could be therapeutic!! Sometimes we can't help it but being brainwashed by the corporate environment that every one that we meet, must have an objective and every minute that we spent must be productive. I break this rule!
  • We listened to each other's updates, situations, problems and ideas. Reciprocal friendship is very much enjoyable than one-way street.
  • I felt the presence of what I've done or written and I felt a tiny wave was being stirred again for what I've thought and done before. A good session for re-visitation of self.
  • My favorite part.....I've drank 2 cups of nice coffee!!!
Cherish friends, enjoy the "now", learn and observe, most importantly....feel it.

You know what....after Pavilion, I was catching up with another 2 friends in Kota Damansara.
Again, a casual catching up session and I truly appreciate our connections.

Sometimes a catch-up session enable us to stretch our mindset, see things differently, got enriched and exchange thoughts.

Guys, thank you for the friendship and thank you for the "Catching Up".
Why don't you try it?

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Coffee with Love


This is what we get when things are done with a heart and soul through the mind.
Can you imagine how Starbucks positioned their customers? I can feel as they treat us as good friends, judging from the act of taking the trouble to inform us on the outlet closing or re-location, with a meaningful message. I'm touched!

This is great example when a business successfully invested in People, to Perform and eventually generating Profits! When a company tries to skip the People part and jump straight to Performance and Profits, most of the time, the employee retention will be low. As people don't feel appreciated and the sense of belonging is shallow. Therefore, resignation letters are flying here and there!

Some management implement a policy where "I set the rules and if you don't play by it, take a flight and leave!". Guess what, employees will do accordingly to grant your wish.
How can one rule, conquers all? Imagine one medication to treat all kinds of disease.
People are different and we are an organic human being that are suppose to be emotional, don't we? We are not cows or chicken! We have moments of celebration, moments of achievement and moments of dissapointment as well. At the end of the day, what is so great about money if it doesn't enrich or uplift someone's life?

If we want a harvest of a year, grow wheat.
If we want a harvest of 10 years, grow trees.
If we want a harvest of a lifetime, grow people.

Eventually, People will grow your empire!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Chronological Events After Marriage


During courtship: Honey + Moon!
Right after marriage: HoneyMoon!
2nd year of marriage: Honey, where's the Moon?
3rd year of marriage: Honey without the Moon!
4th year of marriage: SugarMoon (travel locally). Sugar is cheaper than Honey ok!
5th year of marriage: No Honey, no Sugar and no Moon!
6th year of marriage: Tsunamis & Earthquakes! The Yin can't balance the Yang...
7th year of marriage: World War 3!
8th year of marriage: Independence Day...Merdeka! Then go separate ways....
9th year of marriage: Both in rehabilitation centre!
10th year of marriage: Signing MoU of a lifetime & celebrate 10th anniversary!

....and they live happily ever after....

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm not sure the origin of Valentine's Day and whether Valentine is the founder's name. Who cares?

Some people perceived Valentine's Day as a day created by large corporation mainly for business generation & profit taking.
Some even thought that it is just another day. What is so special about it.....the earth still spins the same way!

To me, why not just merely enjoy it instead of thinking on the negative side of it or having too much analysis on the origination. It is beautiful and lovely to have such a day for couple to rekindle their love, for new couple to strengthen their love and most importantly, for secret-lover to reveal their secret!!

It can be a reason, an excuse or a purpose for us to do something or express our hearts out!

I'm married since 2002 and 2nd of October was the day that my life was coupled with another partner, Anne.

We used to enjoyed, argued, teased and supported each other and fortunately, until today!
I think these are the reason that we sustained our marriage and relationship.
Well, a calm sea will not make a skillful sailor! A calm relationship will not make a steady couple either.

Remember those days when we first met our secret lover, ideal guy or gal where our hearts pumping at 50kHz and our blood travels at 180km / hr!
We can't sleep, eat, study and think well whenever "he" or "she" is not around. We miss that person every minute, every hour and every day!

We used to wear an "angelic" or a "gentlemanic" mask all the time, speaking and behaving gently, well-mannered and acting as a YES man or woman! Sometimes to the extend of gently "lying" to our partner saying that:
..."YES, it is convenient, I'll fetch you..."
(You wanted to say: "Why not take a bus, then LRT, then take a taxi lah!")

..."YES, what a beautiful dress..."
(You wanted to say: "Don't waste money lah!")

..."YES honey, you are still slim..."
(You wanted to say: "Fatty bom-bom, curi jagung! Eh, sign up Marie France lah")

..."YES dear, it is delicious..."
(You wanted to say: "Better don't cook, next time order pizza ok!")

Well, it was those "Gentle-Lies" and Mask that actually keep a relationship interesting.
Time will dilute those interesting moments. Opening our mask and telling unnecessary "truth" will hurt a relationship sometimes. You might not agree but it is true.

Imagine on the 4 examples statement above, to be replaced by the bracketed statement!
You are just looking for trouble!
Well, HONESTY is a must in a relationship, but it must be coupled with RESPECT.
Tell the truth, but find the right way and the right time to communicate.
It will save you from unnecessary war!

As the saying goes, Make Love, not War!

Happy Valentine's Day.

Monday, December 27, 2010

You from Jupiter, I from Neptune!


Every human being is different.
Different in thinking, behavior, personalities, taste & style. Depending on 2 factors;

Part of it is Natured and the other part is Nurtured.

If we blend it together, we'll have a Group.
Fuel it with Vision & Culture, the Group will become a Team.

A healthy and perfect team would consists of a DRIVER, a COMMUNICATOR, a PLANNER & an ANALYST.

A DRIVER sees the macro view as a whole. Risk is the Driver's breakfast! The word "No" and "Can't" will stir up a "tsunami..cal" reaction from the Driver coz they are butt-kicker!

We need Drivers to say GO, GO, GO....LET'S DO IT, LET'S GET IT DONE, LET'S MOVE!
Basically they are result & tasks-oriented, outspoken and sometimes doesn't really look into the consequences.
But becareful if it is practised to the extreme resulting in ignorance on people's needs & feelings. No doubt we need Driver to steer the ship forward. Try to calm down with Lavender's tea from time to time!

A COMMUNICATOR inspires and sometimes able to erupt a volcanic excitement among team members and influencing the Red light to turn Green!

They are happy-go-lucky and like a sense of spotlight shining on them at times.
They are relationship-builder, influencer and innovator. They are best fitted in Marketing, Advertising & PR department. They can be great leader because inspiring people is always better than just merely managing people.
Forgive & Forget are their mottos! Passion is in their DNA. Enthusiasm stick in their hemoglobin!
They are the Links, Lubricants and Bridges of an organisation. Without them, it is BOOOOOORRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!

While the communicator is always on the frontstage, the PLANNER is always working on the backstage ensuring the process, procedures and alignment are in place. If "Ah Lian" wants to sing and open a concert, she definitely needs "Ah Beng" as organiser! "Ah Lian" can't be singing and organising at the same time and same goes with "Ah Beng", period!

Planners are able to see the pros & cons of each projects and normally they have more "white hair" than anybody else because they think a lot!
It might slow down the whole process but it helps to minimize blockages or potholes that other department needs to fill through along the way.
Planner is not an outspoken person and at times, you'll misunderstand that they have no opinion!
They are peacemaker and dislike arguments or confrontations. They rather sacrifice themself than to provoke someone.
If you have problems and like someone to listen, a shoulder to cry on and a tissue for free, call them!
Loyalty & Friendship are what they cherish in life.

We have the DRIVER that kicks-butt, the COMMUNICATOR to innovates, the PLANNER to oversees from A --> Z, finally we have the ANALYST which has a biiiiiggggg left brain working on details and information.

While the Communicator has a problem figuring out what's the real deal with Bank A's offer, the Analyst can summarise Bank A, B, C & D's offer and pick the best deal!
They are meticulous, logical and analytical.
"Disney..istic" imagination doesn't appeal to them. "Matrix" figures attract them like bees & honey.
But extreme analysis leads to paralysis sometimes. Therefore, most entrepreneurs are not analyst. They survey a little and the rest is about guts and instincts!
No doubt analysts are good in accounting, operation and engineering where precision is needed as much as making a Swiss watch working for a hundred years! Therefore, they are great in a way.

Well, in summary....

If 4 person have lunch together in a fine-dining restaurant; be it the DRIVER, the PLANNER, the COMMUNICATOR and the ANALYST, this is what you'll find out:

DRIVER will say, "Hey, this lunch is on me. Don't worry, just order. We are going to hit 1 million sales!"

COMMUNICATOR will say, "Why not call upon Jane, Michael, Wong, Suzy ....etc, eventually inviting a "lorry" of people joining. As communicator likes gathering and they are people oriented. They like Party!

PLANNER will say, "Hold it Communicator, how much budget do we have? Why not have this big lunch after we hit the 1 million sales? What if we've had this lunch but failed to meet this target?"

ANALYST will say "1 million sales....hmmm, divide it by 4 salesperson, RM250,000 / person. Divide it further by 4 weeks, RM62,500 / week. RM12,500 / day. On average we have around RM10,000 - RM11,000 / day, therefore, why not we eat chicken rice first!

There's no right or wrong in this personality quadrants but more of understanding our own strengths & weaknesses and how to blend with each other to a pre-determined direction.

Now you can understand your teammates better, your spouse better, your friends better, even your family members better (we tend to think moms like to nag, nag and nag...now u know why!).

Don't pre-label yourself as a fix DRIVER or COMMUNICATOR or PLANNER or ANALYST as we can intersect each behavior according to different situations.

As long as we keep improving and learning how to adapt with each other, we'll spell PROGRESS the right way.
Or else STAGNATION & FRUSTRATION fills the gap!

Facebook vs. Facetime


It's amazing for a 26 year old becoming a billionaire!
Yes, I'm referring to Mark Zuckerberg, creator of Facebook.

Becoming a billionaire is one thing but changing the world is a big thing!

No doubt he is changing how the world interacts, communicates and operates in terms of bringing the whole world to a few steps closer.

As I can recalled, it all started with IRC (Do the Gen-Y knows that?). It was really hot back then.
Then we have the MSN messenger, ICQ, Skype, Friendster....etc.

All of these were created for the concept of bringing the whole world closer.

At times, I were thinking that all of these applications were so successful in bringing the whole world closer but failed to bring the neighbourhood closer....even for an inch more! Sometimes in the context of family as well.
It is like, "The world is so far and yet so close. The world is so close and yet so far!"
It means a person might be closer to a new friend developed through facebook in another country and yet not that close with their neigbors or family members.

Facebook is pretty powerful in a way and also pretty crippling in another. Of course everything created must have its pros & cons. It depends on how we leverage it.
To me, Internet communication is a bit "cold" where phone or video communication is "warmer". Of course nothing beats face-to-face communication, which is Facetime!
But becareful not to dwell & got obsessed with internet communication until we imprison ourself in the Virtual-Reality than to engage the Reality itself.

The Virtual-Reality is a great place to "hide". We can hide our weaknesses, our bad behaviors, our bad attitudes or even bad looks! While the Reality (or the Facetime) portrays the real "who" in us as we communicate our Body Language, Tonality and Facial Expression in which that is the main communication touch-points!

Thumbs up for those "mamak", "kopitiam" and cafe for providing a Reality place for Facetime!

I can't imagine what if in 10 years time, Oldtown set up a ...
"Virtual-Kopitiam" where members order through a ...
"Virtual-Myanmar-Worker", then drink ...
"Virtual-White-Coffee", with ...
"Virtual-Kaya-Toast", engaging in ...
"Virtual-Get-Together" & "Virtual-Gossips"!!

Even that is still very far from the TRON's era, but I think at that time, human-touch would be pointless and if you check the body temperature of a human being, it is far below 37°C because we are all Cold-Blooded!!

In summary, do engage in Facebook, Twitter or whatsoever to keep up with the latest technology but don't forget the conventional Facetime with Friends & Family!

Remember to celebrate the HAPPY upcoming NEW YEAR in the Reality zone!