Ex - Ex - Ex - Compliment

It has been awhile that I haven't felt so good to receive a genuine compliment about me all the way from Singapore! It was from the mouth of someone who knows someone who knows someone that have worked with me few years back in a company. It talked about hmm....all the good things!!

Normally we refer blind spots as people's weaknesses.
But I never felt personally that blind spots can be strengths as well.
Today I did.

It means no matter how small we feel ourselves to be, dedication, commitments, a sense of responsibility & innovations will sometimes benefit a company or someone directly or indirectly.
The law of sowing & reaping...what a law!

At times we thought, "Where are my harvest?".
Harvest can come in the form of tangible or intangible benefits.

I also learned that words can make or break a person depending on whether we magnify the hole or the doughnut in the midst of communication. In the corporate environment, it is whether we focus on the right or wrong P&L statement; Profit & Loss or People & Love? Our focus determine our action which leads to results.

Do we focus in what people did wrong all the time?
Do we focus in what people haven't done all the time?
Do we focus in what people lack of all the time?

Try changing our focus from "red" to "green" in a red society is really challenging.
It is between fighting all the way upstream or assimilating ourselves downstream.

Fighting needs conviction.
Conviction needs knowledge.
Knowledge needs attention to details.
Attention to details needs passion....that's the key!

All I know is....
What we do today matters.
What we improve today won't be a waste of time.
Who we help today will not be ignored.

Let's be our good selves and keep improving.

Management By Walking Around and Talking Around

I've reviewed for the past few months of what I've been doing in the company that I worked for. What keeps me going is not the Directors or CEO or any top guns in the company but those frontliners that I enjoyed working with.
Those are the people that faced daily problems.
Those are the people that faced customer's complaints.
Those are the people that work hard and didn't get recognitions.
Those are the people that keep the sales alive so that the top management can get their salaries!
Those are the people that got shot if any mistakes occur.

In common practice, top management used to manage or form opinions based on the position they sit in. We should fold our sleeves and walked through the muds with the frontliners and talk to customers. In other words, we should be Managing Through Walking Around & Talking Around....not Sitting Around!!!

In most of the company's meetings, I've had opinions, comments or suggestions to contribute.
Not because that I'm a genius. But because I talked to employees and customers. That is where the pots of gold are located, not in the office.

Perhaps some people think that closeness with employees will lose their status or authority on them.
We don't need authority to manage.
We need respect to lead. 
Closeness will lead to respect when we are an uplifter, an enricher and an encourager of people.
Closeness will lose both authority and respect when we a bulldozer of people.

If you want to be a Business "Runner", build yourself up and crash those you don't like.
If you want to be a Business "Owner", build other people up and crash no one.
But remember; Business Runner means you run it. Business Owner means you own it, others run it.
You choose....

Who's The Boss?

How do we live and what kind of attitudes & behavior that we carry in our workplace are totally depending on the ability to identify & prioritize different bosses in our life.
Who is our boss and what is our boss suppose to do?
I've identified 3 different bosses that we need to look up to especially in the context of a corporate world.
Most people think they are working for a so-called boss that pays them salary!

To me, the FIRST BOSS should be our OWN-SELF.
We must have the mindset of working for ourselves and not anyone else. We should voice out whatever seems good for the company and for the greater good for all. We keep improving ourselves not for the sake of getting attention from the top management but solely for increasing our self values. We should not worry about the nay-sayers as different people will always perceive through different lens of looking at it. We can't satisfy everyone, just knowing the right things to do, then do it.

The SECOND BOSS should be our CUSTOMERS.
Without customers, nobody in the company gets paid! It is all about the integration between internal & external factors of creating a customer experience which converts new customers to loyal customers and eventually to raving-fan customers! Only continuous effort in developing new customers and raving-fan customers that grow a company. It is a Do or Die scenario. A company is either growing or dying, same as human!

The THIRD BOSS should be the ONE THAT PAYS US.
Our corporate boss provides a platform for us to perform and grow, an umbrella for us to be who we are and to sharpen what we are good at. We should help the company makes money, control costings and manage it to be better than before. Eventually, we get paid!

Without the monitoring from the first boss, the other two bosses are going to suffer.
Without the support from the second boss, the other two bosses are going to suffer.
Without the vision & direction from the third boss, the other two bosses are going to suffer as well!

So, to all the first bosses out there, I'm talking to YOU including myself!
Let's be a great boss of our own.

Managing Management

There is always so many tasks, so many to-dos and so many activities to accomplish in a day. We've always think about how to maximise productivities, in hope of finishing whatever needed to be done. Upon completion, we realized there are more to come! And the vicious cycles continue.
Then we are stressed up, growing more white hair, drinking more beers and burning more midnight oil!

Sometimes, in the midst of working on our To-Do lists, we need to stand still and refresh our mind on how to manage ourselves and the things around us.

I was having a drink with a friend the other night and I'm truly impressed on how simple he managed his career and business. Everything is within his grasp. Everything is so clear to him. And most importantly, everything looks simple to him and he knows exactly what he is doing.
After he explained part of his journey to me, I can summarise it into 2 management areas; the MAJOR and the MINOR parts of it.

The major part would be defining:

1. WHAT exactly that we want by looking ahead, followed by 
2. WHY we want what we want. 
3. Then we figure out HOW to get to the WHAT through the WHY as a driving force. 

The minor part would be the extension of the HOW, which is to :

1. SEGMENTALIZED it.
2. BREAK it &
3. DIG it.

Most of the time, we are stuck on where to start. 

We have a vision and a clear direction but have no idea on the very first step. 

As mentioned, we have to segmentalized all the related entities and see what's important at the current moment. Then we got to break it down with a procedural and investigative mindset. Finally, use our laser-focused brain to dig it further into small actionable steps. 

I observed the importance of having no grey areas as it tends to deviate us from a solid decision. 

To my friend, everything is Do or Don't Do. 

There is no "maybe", "perhaps" or "try".

He has a steady confidence going around him. He spoke his mind out, voiced out the truth, very transparent in his character and he respects people.

I have tremendous respect for him and hope to share my observations with all of you out there, who may be stuck somewhere somehow!!!

An Iron-Willed Woman With A Gentle-Touch

Last month while I was travelling to Melaka with my friend solely to walkaround and find some good food in Jonker Street, instead of tasting good food, I witnessed another interesting "food" for my mind!

Before heading to fill up my stomach, I stopped to looked at this particular woman....slowly, gently & patiently moving her hand to create a nice piece of calligraphy.

I recalled when someone says, "Don't complain that we don't have branded shoes until we see others that don't have legs". I don't know the story of how this woman ended up being "different" but looking at her grace, I'm totally speechless & thoughtless about our life challenges sometimes.
To feel whether we are fortunate or unfortunate depends on who do we compare ourselves with.

To feel motivated, just look "UP".
To feel lucky, just look "DOWN".

Happiness & Unhappiness are the result of Comparisons.

Who are you comparing with today?

Turning Big Words Into Small Words

In the corporate world, it is quite common to see big jargon being used to describe big things.
Especially during the stage of conceptualization & strategic planning.
Here I am, using 2 big jargon right on!

Let's see what are some of the big words & there are tonnes of it out there;
Authentic, Branding, Performance, Efficiency, Growth, Attitude, Cosy-Environment, Cool, Impeccable Service, Quality, Management, Values...etc.

I can see few reasons here;

1. Because the Big guys up there only know the Big words to describe the Big things OR
2. Because the Big guys up there need to show the Big picture using Big words OR
3. Because the Big guys up there don't know how to break the Big words into small words!

The most extraordinary and skillful person are those that are able to Think Wide, Talk Big & Act Small.

Due to personalities or talents labelling, some people are good in the big picture but pretty lousy on the details while some vice-versa.

As much as personalities & talents are an inborn factor, I truly believe we can adapt & learn to be both at a certain level due to the reason that 30% of it are natured 70% of it are nurtured.

In order to truly get things implemented, we need to describe Big words followed by Small actionable words as well. We just need to break it down by asking What & How. First the Why, then the What followed by How.

Simple!

Okay, examples...

I want to be Authentic. 

What is authentic to you then? Perhaps being original & truthful. 

How to be authentic? Say what you mean and mean what you say and your thoughts, words & actions are aligned.

I want Branding. 

What part of branding that you want? Awareness, Impact, Promise?

Let's assume awareness. 

How to have brand awareness? Perhaps out of 100 people, we want at least 70 people knowing our brand.

What if it is brand impact.

How to have brand impact? Perhaps out of 100 buyers, we want at least 70 people using or portraying the way that we want them to.

What about brand promise? Perhaps out of 100 items sold, 99 of it are of good quality and without any defect.

I want a Cosy-Environment.

What is Cosy? Relaxing, Cool, Neat & Comfortable.

How to have a Cosy-Environment? Perhaps warm-white lighting, air-condition at 22 deg Celsius, jazz music & lavender aromatherapy.

The challenge in the corporate world is to find those that can think in Big words and act on Small words. Very often that we have people that is one-sided. Meaning they think & talk Big but delegate to the downliners to break it down to implement it. Depending on the experience & creativity level, sometimes the downliners may have a hard time figuring out. That is the beginning of Communication Breakdown.

On the other hand, we have people who keep thinking about the details of what to do & how to do without explaining why we need to do it. Those are the warriors that are being equipped with Kungfu to save the world without knowing why they need to save it in the first place. 

Hence, we have to be the Flip-Flopper manager or leader....being able to flip from the Big words to flop to the small words.

If someone can do it, you can too.

Copycat The Original

The other day I was having lunch with 2 friends and we were just chatting about all kinds of stuff. But eventually, we talked about career, business and life. I was having the thought that somehow our life is governed by our knowledge, confidence & comparison.

Sometimes we envy others and at times, we look up to them. We keep learning & keep absorbing.
We wonder how on earth some people know so much or achieve so much or earn so much!
We thought the success is somehow related to some kind of original ideas emerging from somewhere over the rainbow!

Maybe and maybe not...

Our brain is an organic learning machine that can intertwined facts, input, data & knowledge.
Plus our experience, life values & confidence level, we may copy an idea but personalized it along the way to fit in our scope of beliefs. Eventually, what seems to be "original" by others turns out to be "copycatted" and fine-tuned by our own self. We just change the originalities a bit or improve it or make it slightly different from what it is. Then it became ours.
Therefore, when someone is better than us or looks to be better than us, it is because they have more inputs, more thoughts, more modifications of the original ideas & personalized it into their own or having more confidence in the copycat process.

When someone did it, you can too.
When someone wants to do it, you can too.
When someone thinks you can't do it, you can too.
Most importantly, when you think you can do it, you can too!

Question is ....who do we need to copycat and how can we personalized it to become our own originalities.
Instead of becoming a second class of someone, be a first class of your own.
This is the challenge.

Humble or Self Denial?

When we started off in life, normally is from a lower ground and slowly climbing it up, step by step to the peak. Along the way, we meet lots of people, go through lots of episodes, face different decision making moments, have our victories & defeat and most probably, tasted all flavours of life. At different phases of life, we need to instil different value platforms for us to sustain and grow.

During the glowing days of our life, we strive to be CONFIDENT. We portray a high & positive self image to our surroundings, hoping to protect ourselves from being looked down and of course, to survive in the concrete jungle of urbanization. It might be a synthetic confidence where we put a mask on or better still, it is an organically grown confidence where it is coming from the inside-out.

At times, success may blindfold us from continuous learning and we thought confidence is eternal. Therefore it becomes a habit and do beware that over confidence might turns out to be disrespectful in a dog-eat-dog capitalistic society.

After a journey of glamorous heights, we realized that being HUMBLE is the highest form of self-confidence. That is the point where we know who we are, what we have achieved, what are we going to strive for and the valuable experiences that we have inconveniently got it. Sometimes, people mistakenly mixing Self-Denial & Humbleness.

To me, being HUMBLE means you are Successful but you don't show it.
On the other side, SELF-DENIAL means you are a Failure and yet you show it!

So, be very careful when we climb the heights as not to be over-confidence & disrespectful. Life has its balancing force. It has a way to tone us down so that we will learn about values & character.

Keep it going & Keep it up....

Light Up Another Candle

In the past weekend, I was in Melaka hanging out with an old friend of mine, enjoying the much sought after food in Jonker Street. Due to our limited space in our stomach, we can only put in Durian Cendol, PaiTee & Asam Laksa. Not to mention that I unresistably packed lots of Nyonya kuih back to KL!!

Well, the highlight was not just in the food but I & my friend had an enriching moment of sharing & exchanging some thoughts. I respect him for his guts to get out of the rut system to help a friend to manage a business. It takes a lot of energy, motivation & initiatives to keep going. I was sharing my thoughts on the aspect of marketing and business development. Just some nuggets here & there, hopefully to uplift and light up another person's candle during his "dark" hours. I just log in to Facebook today only to realise that it did help a bit.

Sometimes our presence can be a little blessing for someone who needs it & the greatest thing is that we unknowingly touch someone without purpose. On the other hand, it provides us with a channel to be useful, valuable & enriching. Or else, what are friends for after all? I think it will be great if we give some, take some & share some. That is what keep a friendship going.

Have you help someone lately?
Have you uplift someone lately?
Have you change someone lately?
Have you bless someone lately?

Perhaps you should try it.

Top 5 Regrets In Life

I've found this message from Bronnie Ware, an inspiring writer from Australia.
The message is about a very interesting summary of the top 5 regrets that people have when they are dying soon. Very enlightening & it serve as a great reminder to us....

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. 

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.


2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.


3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.


4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.


5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.


http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html