Our Inner Ear - Subconscious

Psychologists talk about expressing our problems and stress out. Some people channel it out through yelling, doing exercise, going through some form of therapies or sharing it with friends. Most commonly, we'll choose to share it with a buddy or someone older than us, perhaps lending us a pair of listening ear or some advice.

But I've tried before sharing some burden or stress with friends and the more I shared, the more negative I became! Because when we share, we are the first person to listen to it through our inner ear again & again until it is impregnated into our subconscious. As opposed to what psychologists talk about, the more I think about it and speak about it, the more I magnify the situations. The worst thing is the negative wind is now blowing to our friend who listen to us. Suppose he or she is having a great time and suddenly being striked by "Down-Syndrome" because of us, sharing unnecessary gossips or  negative stuff!

In conclusion, what shall we do? To share or not to share?
To share, we might experience a short sense of relief.
Not to share, we might explode one day!

In my opinion, we should talk it out and share it with 2 conditions;

1. Share with someone positive that we can trust.
2. Share with the mindset of solving it.

The first condition is to enable us to have a sense of relief and acknowledgement of someone knowing what we have gone through. The second condition is to help us to block the on-going flow of negative "chi" to ourself and to others. Eventually, if we let the negative air floats around, it will be cancerous! Until the extreme of someone committing suicide or doing something extreme and harmful without any conscious effort of curing it.

Life is only once.
Let's try our very best to minimize mental pollutions and contaminants in order to live with abundance.

Friendship

Awhile ago, a colleague of mine gave me a free coupon to redeem a frappucino in Starbucks. 2 hours later, I've redeemed it!! Ordered a Java Chip with a simple donut ...... here I am, feel like writing a message on friendship.

Eventhough it is a small token but I think it really made a pleasurable and relaxing evening for me. Especially after a hectic day running around, we just need some private moments and enjoy every bit of it. Sometimes we don't need expensive stuff, just something useful will turn our evening around.

Besides family, spouse or lovers, we need friends to be around us. Coz no man is an island.....
At times, they could lend a listening ear or even give some valuable insights that our stressful mind couldn't figure out. Sincere and enriching friendships are valuable. They may come in handy especially when we need someone to chit-chat, share our joy or lift off some of our burden.

They are friends that can hurt us. And some will help us. Of course there are some who make no difference in our lives. The quality of friendship that we spend time building on, will determine our altitude in life. If we spend most of our lives with someone who can help and uplift us, I'm sure we  live a more fulfilled life.

I just spoke to another 2 business friends this afternoon and we had a fruitful chat where I learn the word of commitment and focus from them. To me, both of them are successful as they love to help and add values to people's lives. Nothing is more fulfilling than to enrich someone to reach a level that they never thought of reaching.

Well, when you have time, what are you waiting for....just call a friend and chit-chat over a cup of coffee!!

Money, Money, Money...

What if you were suddenly blessed with piles & piles of cash with a snap of a finger?
It is not a very good analogy because we got to work hard for it. But just for the sake of discussion and provoking our thoughts a little bit....

• Would you still continue working? Be it your job or your current business?
• Perhaps clearing all your debt and be a G.O.O.D person.....Get Out Of Debt...?
• Does travelling crosses your mind where seeing dolphins and penguins are much more interesting than clients and bosses?
• What about testing your dream car and just pay cash for it?
• Maybe you can try out an expensive hair cut?
• Purchasing 10 units of high-end condos is definitely more interesting than struggling to pay the mortgage of 1 unit?
• How about pursuing your hobby such as snorkelling, horse-riding, parachuting or bungee-jumping?

There are endless things to be done.
Some people said Money Can't Buy Happiness.
I bet those who said that don't have much and they simply use it to justify themselves being broke!
We always heard that "The Love of Money Is The Root Of All Evil."
What about "The Lack of Money Is The Root Of All Evil!!"

More than half of our life is spent working for money. To be more specific, it is what money can buy and the lifestyle that we've trade it for. Of course money itself is innocent. It depends on who the owner is and how we use it. Money is just a form of measurement, an exchange value and it provides convenience to access to a better and greater lifestyle.

Money is great and Money can definitely buy happiness.
We don't have to pretend it is not important and treat it like an allergen.

Let's welcome and attract money in our life.....

Life is a Process of Buying & Selling

In my opinion, life is not just about winning or losing and if we view it from another angle, it consists of buying and selling. If our metaphor of life is all about winning, we might think of ways to "assassinate" someone's position, self-esteem or values. It is all about stepping down or destroying others in the name of victory! When someone wins, it is simply because you position yourself as a seller and you successfully find a buyer.

Everyday, we try pushing or suggesting our ideas or thoughts to someone hoping to influence his or her views. On the other hand, we might be persuaded to accept the other party's opinion. Then we bounced back with our arguments. Vice-versa, we got hit back by the other's view followed by our "attack" again. The process goes on until someone is willing to buy an idea, thought or opinion and it settle down.

Suddenly we change topics and here we go again. Maybe this time the Buyer becomes a Seller and vice-versa. Try to picture these situations;

• You sell the idea to your friend on buying a Vios but ended up buying a City.
• You've sold the idea of leaving your current company but bought the suggestion of staying back.
• Someone sells you some bad thoughts about your superior but you rejected the "purchase" and in return selling back what you think about that superior to shut that person up. Hence the seller of bad thoughts eventually bought your good thoughts.
• You are being sold of the idea of being happy is more important than money. Do you buy this or you have other thoughts to sell it back?
• Your future boss doesn't buy the idea of giving you such a high salary but you continue magnifying its pain of not having you or the joy of having you in the company. Eventually, you've got what you want and your boss enjoy your talent. Transaction closed!

When I look at life as a continuous transactions of buying and selling instead of winning and losing, I may leave myself with rooms of empathy, care and respect. If I flip it through, I might see only Victors or Victims and may treat myself as a Carnivore, wanting to win all the time or a Herbivore, who lost most of the time.

Why not be an Omnivore!!

Business Owner or Business Runner?

After working for many years, most people would like to start their own business. I've written previously on the "Purpose of Building A Business". Be it Passion, Innovation, Problem-Solving, Jobs Creation or Creating More Income for oneself, there are 2 ways of having our own business.

Either you:

1. Run it ...or...
2. Own it

If you run it, you will never own it.
If you own it, try not to run it.

I've recalled a trading company having high revenues and a big operating scale, firefights daily! Their daily routines are Blaming, Pinpointing, Shooting & Firing! Imagine going to the warzone every day to work. Guess how motivating it is .... There is no teamwork, no incentive and obviously no passion, only a group of people dying mentally and waiting to be buried alive someday.

Another company run by a husband & wife team. All the employees are expected to equipped with multiple Intel processors in their whole body; MULTI-MULTI-MULTI-TASKING!!!
And all the MD knows and care of is the sales volume, margin, profit and nothing else. There is no life, no soul, no respect and no meaning at all. Eventually, everyone left!

I've observed and known a number of business people. In summary:

• Some are having big businesses with a big team but infested with the disease of employee's turnover and low morality.
• Some small businesses remain small in their whole life, due to fear and a conventional mindset.
• Some businesses firefight in their daily routine.
• Some systematically having proper flow and procedures in place.
• While a chosen few started from small and grew into a business empire coupled with solid values, mission, systems, purpose and teamwork.

I think the difference between Business Owners and Business Runners are whether the Management team brings out the Best in people or creates the Worst in people. I call it the Enablers or the Disablers.
Are you creating Drivers, Planners, Communicators and Analyst in your business?
Or you are just creating a bunch of people doing ....whatever....as long as someone doing something.
Do you have people doing the right things or just people doing the things right?
What about having people doing the right things right?

If you wish to be a Business Owner, practise the 3 Es; Educate, Encourage and Empower people.
If you wish to be a Business Runner, practise the 3 Cs: Control, Criticize and Complain people.
But you can replace it with Care, Compliment and Cash!

It is all about having the Heart and Mind for the people. Letting them grow, make mistakes and uplifting them. The alignment of Thoughts and Action from the Management will reflect the real company foundation. Another important element of it is the balance between Systems and Flexibility. Systems control the company flow and procedures while Flexibility promotes harmony, respect and care.

For instance, a company may practise the policy of non-accumulative annual leave. But due to the commitment and dedication of your team players which undertake and overlook projects completion until the point that is impossible for them to clear the annual leave, what do you do when the annual leave is expiring soon?
System wise, burn all the leave days accordingly.
Flexibility wise, pay them accordingly and show that you really care and commit to your employee's dedication.

In conclusion, it is easy to start a business. It is hard to maintain and even harder to build leaders to grow your empire. Do you want your business managing your people or do you want your people managing your business?

You choose....